Beautiful smiling African American woman with her arms around a handsome smiling African American man

Relationships: Judge Mablean Serves Practical Wisdom for Single Women

Long-time West Angeles Church member Judge Mablean Ephriam shares inspiring life and relationship principles for women everywhere. Based on her 2 books, Look Deep Before You Leap and Judge Mablean’s Life Lessons: Tools for Weekly Living, Judge Mablean’s presentation is lively and often humorous.  What she shares is gleaned from recurring themes discerned during her “40 years of legal experience, 20 years of television experience, and 60+ years of life.”  

The former Los Angeles prosecuting attorney is best known as the adjudicator of the television courtroom series “Divorce Court,” and presented the principles as West Angeles’ featured speaker on Mother’s Day 2018.  She sees her platform as a gift, and an opportunity not to entertain, but “to stimulate, to motivate, to educate, and to encourage.” And although the presentation is directed toward women, she makes it clear that God’s wisdom is for both sexes.

Said Judge Mablean, “Start with these things” 

  1. Know God. Have a personal relationship with Him: not with your Bishop, not with your First Lady. You have been chosen. You have studied God’s word: you can get a prayer through for yourself.
  2. Obey God in any and everything you do. Jesus said, “I know that you obey me if you keep My commandments” (John 14:15-21).
  3. Trust God in everything you do because God says He will do it. Don’t give up on Him.
  4. Ask God. “Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and ye shall find. You have not because you ask not.” One thing learned as a child is that all can do is ask. And they’ll tell you “yes” or “no.” But when you ask, you must believe.
  5. Thank God for everything He’s done, for what He will do, and for what he hasn’t done. He kept you from some things that you wanted; thank God He didn’t listen to you!african american man and woman stand with arms interlocked around the bible      Women Inspiring Women: Judge Mablean urges single women to put the Lord first in their lives and in their relationships.


Judge Mablean has divided her tips into four categories: single women, divorced or widowed women, married women, and mothers. Part I (below) is directed toward single Christian women. Some of our favorite quotes follow:

“Look deep before you leap. 1 Samuel 16:7 says, “Man looks on the outward appearance but God looks at the heart.” Most of our problems start because we’re not looking at the right things. Instead of looking at the “tall dark and handsome,” look at the heart: ‘for out of the heart flows the issues of life.’”

“Matthew 6:21 says, ‘Where a man’s heart is, a man’s treasure is.’ So, if he’s polishing his car all day on Saturday but he doesn’t have much time for you, then that’s where his heart is. He’s not treasuring you too much.”

“Marriage and love are from the heart, not the wallet. The wallet’s size may change at any moment, but the heart doesn’t change.”Judge Mablean in courtroom

“Men give you the ‘okey-doke’ line, ‘If you’ll love me you’ll lay with me.’ That’s so old; come on ladies, let’s get past that!”  Judge Mablean Ephriam

“Look for the man who embodies and operates in the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control, gentleness…So often we as women think a gentleman is a weak man. And we pass up the gentlemen who are kind, who open doors and are soft spoken. Look for gentleness in a man; see if he embodies the fruits of the spirit.”

“Flee fornication. Resist the devil. Romans 12:1 says, ‘I beseech you, therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.’  So, you haven’t done anything big when you do it; it’s no big deal; you don’t deserve a medal. You only did what God told you to do, so just do it!”  

“Sacrifice means giving up what you like today. What may give you happiness now will bring you something greater later.”

“We’re microwave people; we like instant gratification. You need to wait on the Lord to send you your Boaz.”

“I understand that men give you the ‘okey-doke’ line, ‘If you’ll love me you’ll lay with me.’ That’s so old; come on ladies, let’s get past that! If he loves you, he’ll respect your belief. AND, If he’s a holy man of God – I didn’t say a churchman, I said a holy man – he should be doing the same thing.”

“Sacrifice means giving up what you like today.  What may give you happiness now will bring you something greater later.”  Judge Mablean Ephriam

“I know some men think that the Bible wasn’t written for them in that area, that it’s alright for them to commit fornication. But the Bible was written for them too.”  

“When he shows you who and what he is, believe him: and get on out of there!”

“Go out in groups instead of by yourself. Stop the late night phone calls, and please don’t do video chat calls!”

“If you seem to fail at all of this, Then don’t worry, there’s hope: God ’s redemption power; His redeeming grace. If you happen to have fallen into one of those situations as I did, Just know that God can restore you. His grace is sufficient for you.”

 “Confess your sins. He’s faithful and just to forgive your sins and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. God will give you another opportunity.”

SCRIPTURAL REFERENCES: 1 Peter 2:9, John 14:15-21, Psalm 9:10, Proverbs 4:23, Matthew 7:7-8, Philippians 4:6, 1 Samuel 16:7, Matthew 6:21, Galatians 5:22-23, Romans 12:1, Psalm 27:14, Ruth 1-4, Exodus 20:14, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 1 John 1:9, Deuteronomy 30:3-13.

Judge Mablean Book

Mablean Deloris EphriamEsq. is a long-time West Angeles member.  She is a former Los Angeles prosecuting attorney and the author of 2 books, Look Deep Before You Leap and Judge Mablean’s Life Lessons: Tools for Weekly Living. Judge Mablean is best known as the adjudicator of the courtroom series Divorce Court for seven seasons. She started her law career as a corrections officer in the Women’s Division of the Federal Bureau of Prisons. She attended night classes at Whittier Law School earning her Juris Doctor degree in 1978.  In 1982, she opened her own law practice. Ephriam also portrays a stern judge character in Tyler Perry’s Madea films.  Judge Mablean was previously married to Cassius Paxton.  They have 1 daughter, writer/director/producer Tajamika Paxton.  To learn more about her books, please CLICK HERE.

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